“They’ll defy your expectations”

Today will be the same as yesterday. Your teenage daughter, P*, spends all day lying on the floor watching TV. She can’t lift her own body weight with her hands, and it hurts when you shift her body to make her feel more comfortable. Every day you help her get washed and dressed, and bring her all her meals, while the rest of the family go out to work. You love her so much and you wish you knew how to give her a better life.

Except that today won’t be the same as yesterday. This morning your doctor told you that you need to go to hospital for major heart surgery. It will take at least a month to recover. If you don’t go to the hospital, then you won’t be well enough to look after P. But your family can’t look after her either because they need to be at work. What can you do?

Caring for children like P is often difficult in Thailand. “Families, when they are faced with a child with a physical disability, are sometimes not given hope or encouragement by medical staff,” said BMS World Mission worker Judy Cook. “They may be told, ‘Just take them home, they won’t get any better, they won’t be able to do anything.’ If families hear this, then this is what they believe.”

P was born with a severe physical disability. She grew up being looked after by her mother, while the rest of her family worked to financially support them. P’s mother loved her daughter deeply but did not know how to lift P properly, or how to feed her when she wasn’t lying on the floor. When P’s mother needed to have heart surgery, the family were unable to provide the 24-hour care that P needed, so they asked the Thai Government for help.

The government welfare department got in contact with Judy and her Thai colleagues at Hope Home, a BMS-supported home for children with disabilities, to see if they could care for P. Judy’s served at Hope Home since 2007, where she and her colleagues provide physiotherapy and long-term care for children and young people with physical disabilities. When they heard about P’s predicament, they immediately offered to give her respite care for as long as it took for her mother to recover from the operation.

From the beginning of P’s stay, they saw changes in her behaviour. P’s mother told Hope Home that P would cry if she couldn’t watch TV all day. But soon P began to defy everyone’s expectations. “She never watched a single bit of TV with us. And she was fine,” said Judy. “Physically, we were able to get her from just lying on the floor to sitting in positions where she could see and be involved. And her hands could start to actually work because she wasn’t lying down on the floor.”

When P’s mother visited, she was amazed by how much her daughter had grown in confidence. “The mum saw what P could do with us, and she was quite happy to be taught how to position her better and how to sit her up on her own,” Judy said. “There was clearly a big family love there and that’s why we were very keen to get her back.”

When P left Hope Home, her mum wanted to use a purpose-made wheelchair so that P could get out more. But sadly, the family ended up having to return the equipment that Hope Home provided, as it wasn’t practical in their small home. Although this outcome is disappointing, Judy knows that P’s life has changed for the better, and she regularly visits her and her family. “We’re helping financially, so that P’s mum can pay somebody locally to come and help her lift P and shower her,” she said. “The family knows P can do more, and hopefully they will reach a realisation of wanting to do more, too.”

Helping families look after children and young people with physical disabilities is a lifelong journey. Every day, Judy sees signs of God’s love at work in the children and young people at Hope Home. “The slightest little thing gives them pleasure and excitement and that’s what God wants to be like with all of us. He wants us to enjoy life and enjoy who he is and how much he loves us. And to accept it without questioning. That’s what our kids do.”

*P’s name has been changed.